innmybrain

So it’s going pretty fast now. 17 weeks and counting, and to tell you the truth I was jealous for the first time the other day. As Amber and I sat on the couch she said she felt her flutter. And then again, wow the joy on her face was majestic.  Her eyes became real big like it was Christmas day and she was a 5 year old who just saw her Barbie dream house. I was jealous because I couldn’t experience it. Our baby was moving but yet their I sat unable to notice and really if she wouldn’t have said anything I would have never known.  What a milestone in my life, what a change of pace and what an exciting time. And yet I can only feel maybe one third of the system that is being created. You know at 17 I would have never had wished this on anyone. I think at a young age you aren’t really able to experience the joy of having a child. Yes you can be happy and yes you can be excited and nervous but to really experience it you have to want it. Think of it like a roller coaster. I for one hate them but yet if you can get me on one for a ride yes I will enjoy it for the few seconds it last but when my feet hit the ground I won’t go back on. Now, if you love roller coasters and can’t wait to get to Six Flags and ride them, stand in line for hours and let your excitement build then strap in and anxiously wait as it makes it’s big climb to the top, breath in the air and scream with excitement as your stomach pushes into your chest. Hold on to the handle bars and smile as your head whips around the corner and then when your feet touch the ground run to the next line and wait for it all over again. Same ride but yet two different views.  I am the second guy right now. At seventeen nope, but now at thirty, totally. I am enjoying every second………